According to my calculations and the calendar on WordPress, it’s been 35 days since my last post. Hmm. 35 days seems like an eternity. Okay, I’m exaggerating . It felt more like, oh somewhere upwards of 70 days. Nope 75. Yes, 75 days…for sure… definitely…at least. I know because for everyone of those 75 fictious days, my perfectionist-my-way-or-no-way persona reigned like a queen…of terror.
I was mOoOdy, sNapPy and let’s not forget determined to prevail against everything from sleep to prayer and meditation. You should’ve seen me, I had more fight in me than Ali had against Foreman. Too bad I was fighting against the wrong side. Doh!
In all my “getting it while the getting’s good” I lost sight of the real reason I’d prevailed to within two months of my graduation date and finally achieving Summa Cum Laude, grace. Not just any grace–HIS grace.
When I started this quest almost 3 years ago, I didn’t have a clue about anything. I lacked direction and wisdom. But through continual prayer, renewal of my mind and standing on a solid foundation that didn’t move with the tides or the times, I was able to transcend old mindsets, habits and fearful forebodings. I no longer played the same tired messages to myself: you can’t, you won’t be able too, you’re too old, you’re not, you should’ve, etc. You name it, I owned it. And not just the single. I owned the albums, the remakes and all of the new and improved remixes. Too bad I couldn’t collect royalty off those songs; I’d be stinking rich! Well, maybe not stinking…I digress. Truth be told, I’d be a heaping mess of all of the selfs: pity, loathing, destruction and sabotage, if it had not been for grace.
I’m many things– a mother, teacher, leader, poet, writer, friend, sister, aunt, orator, mentor, graduate, scholar, achiever–but I KNOW what I’m not: capable of coming this far on my own. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 30-something years of living it’s this: you give honor where honor is truly due. Yes, there were many people who encouraged and helped me along the way: friends, eWeezie, co-workers and even some of you; and it meant a great deal (and still does). But at the end of the day, my help and strength came straight from the throne of Grace–straight from the breath of Heaven. And in those intimate encounters–those blissful exchanges of my fear for His strength, my doubt for His faith and my anger for His peace –I was empowered to press forward just a little bit more. I was renewed to walk the talk just a little bit longer. I was armed and ready for whatever would come my way.
I’ve shared all of this because…hmm, why am I sharing this again? Oh yes, I’m back and I made it. I’m sorry. I meant to say
I MADE IT!!!
And if I can do it there’s no reason on this planet–or any other for that matter–why you can’t too! Grab hold of your dreams and get to work. Grace is on your side and that’s a win-win-win any way you slice it. So, what are you waiting for?
Thanks for visiting,