Sex, Babies and Stupid Lying Storks!

010So, there’s no disclaimer with this entry, just good ‘ole fashioned “Momma’s telling everything” kind of fun!!

For new visitors, I have a 2 beautiful children. Adorable. Intelligent. And side-splittingly funny! Here’s the latest from one MalcolmWan Kenobi.

I can’t talk about it…

So, Malcolm and his aunt were talking about birthdays and why he wasn’t born on June 30th *giggles* like the doctors predicted. The following *amp giggles* is a true conversation. On my best day, I couldn’t come up with this stuff!

A little background to help you understand why I’m already laughing and I haven’t even finished the post. A few weeks ago, we had Open Mic night in our house and the topic of the night was da da dommm sex, babies and how the 2 topics are related. See, my children thought one had nothing to do with the other. Hahaha, yes that’s another post entirely! But just keep in mind that they learned about sex and how babies are born. Now onto the fun…

Mal: so you’re birthdays on the 30th huh? Did you know I was supposed to be born on the 30th?

Aunt:   No Malcolm I didn’t. she’s totally lying and trying to keep a straight face. Why don’t you tell me all about it?

Mal: well, there isn’t much to tell. I was happy where I was, comfortable even. yes, he actually said that.  So I decided to sleep in.

Aunt: You slept in??

Mal: oh yeah. I mean given the alternative, what else could I do? I mean yuck!

Aunt: laughing hysterically. What alternative?

Mal: you know, coming out….out of there…aunt feigns ignorance. you know there??

Aunt: still laughing. No Malcolm. I don’t know. What’s there mean?

Mal: red-faced and exasperated.  From THERE, Auntie!! You know what I mean!

Aunt: almost on the floor laughing.  No, honey, tell me!

Mal: crossed arms and stiff back. Auntie there are some things a man just shouldn’t talk about. Somethings are just to traumatic to relive. Don’t take me back there, Auntie. Don’t take me back. head is hung, shoulders dropped. aunt is doubled over laughing. Stupid, lying stork! Humph! marches out of the kitchen, arms folded across his chest and nose in the air.

Needless to say, I laughed for about 10 minutes.  The stork is a liar!! Hahaha, how awesome is that??? That’s what I call “classic Malcolm.”

Thanks for visiting,


3 thoughts on “Sex, Babies and Stupid Lying Storks!

  1. Prudence Ramos says:

    Haahaahaa!!! That is hilarious!! I can just picture it! Heehehee, this will keep me giggling for bit!


    • 1stepup says:

      Hey Reneee!

      He’s a riot!! He and my daughter keep me young. Check out the one about the Bratz/Batman Battle…it’s my fave!! See? Wait until yours gets this age then the REAL fun begins. =))

      Thanks for visiting!


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