As a single parent, I’ve heard lots of misconceptions, stereotypes and down right WRONG attitudes about what it means to be a single woman, raising children, in today’s society. I’m sure you’ve heard them too. Single mothers should have been married first. Single mothers are man haters. Single mothers are immoral and irresponsible. And the list goes on. However, one of the greatest misconceptions is that single women don’t need anybody, especially not men.
Too often, we as women get caught up in the “independent” persona or the “I am woman hear me roar” syndrome as I like to refer to it. In all honesty, it’s not that difficult of a persona to embrace. We’re raising children, often times alone. We work. We teach and we persevere. We’re educated, ambitious and sometimes a little tough on the edges. We have to be. Life is hard for some of us and we do the best with what we have. At the same time, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way we have to be.
The truth of the matter is this: for many women accepting help from a man is equated to weakness or incompetence. We hate to be the “damsel in distress.” We tend to think that accepting a man’s help is an insult to our independence and strength. Nothing could be further from the truth.
When I began my single parent journey, I prayed for many things. A male friend wasn’t one of them. However, when I was ready, God in His infinite wisdom saw that I needed otherwise. He gave me brothers, friends and confidants–all men–who have helped me to break down the barriers and limits that I’ve accepted over the years. They helped me to understand the Bible scripture that says: “no greater love has a man than to lay down his life for his friend.”
Ladies, it’s difficult to open up and trust others when you’re so accustomed to going it alone. It’s hard to accept help especially when it’s been withheld for so long. It’s hard to share burdens that we shelve in the dusty closet of our hearts. It’s hard but not impossible.
I was angry, bitter and resentful. I felt burdened, isolated and rejected. I was a damsel in distress. A damsel isn’t a weakling or frail creature incapable of fending for herself. She’s the one with the wisdom to recognize that in this life, NO ONE can go it alone. There IS much that I gained from the presence of good men in my life. Their perspective caused me to dream a little bigger–dig a little deeper. They brought gifts when I didn’t ask. They encouraged me and corrected me when I needed it but didn’t want it. These were men who listened–who shared.
In this life, we can’t afford to go it alone. We all need someone to come to our aid especially when we lack the humility to accept it. Don’t be afraid to be the damsel–it could be the light at the end of an otherwise dreary tunnel.
Thanks for visiting.