Reconciliation failed me, but my wounds lifted me.
Reconciliation: Two or more people moving in tandem to create a legacy of understanding, honesty and transparency. They move in sync progressing toward a common goal: healing.
Make no mistake, reconciliation is work. It is not for the weak or the easily-ruffled nor is it for fair-weather folks who bolt at the first sign of trouble. Reconciliation is powerful and can be an effective way to bridge gaps birthed from miscommunication, disappointment and betrayal.
It cannot be forced. It cannot be manipulated. It cannot be faked.
Like you, it’s a living, breathing entity that when properly nurtured can and will grow into something magnificent—regal, even. But it doesn’t get this way by happenstance. Everyone works together to achieve this.
Or do they?
Consider this: not everyone who talks about reconciliation is committed to the process of reconciliation. Some folks know how to talk a good game or put on a good show. They’re quick to say all the right words in front of all the right people. But when the dust settles and the crowd disperses, the only things remaining are empty words and duplicitous behavior.
Their actions, accusations or ultimatums are predatory—designed to hold you captive under the guise of compromise. Manipulation ensues. Guilt-trips inevitably follow. Mockery, disappointment and insults become the norm. Don’t be fooled. This is not reconciliation; it’s retaliation. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you are no one’s ram in the bush!
Don’t let others treat you like a punching bag, door mat or bull’s eye target. Don’t let chronic manipulation and emotional or mental degradation become the norm for your life. You deserve better. Surround yourself with people who respect, protect and encourage you.
Remember: with some folks forgiveness is reciprocal—with others it’s rhetorical. Know the difference.
The trap has been set, friends. Don’t take the bait.