Because Every Goliath Meets Its David

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A dream without action is just a wish. And while wishing on a star sounds magical, the real magic happens when you act–when you move forward, even when you’re terrified.

2018 is the year Goliath meets David. It’s the year of woman thou art loosed. The year of great rising and insurrection. The year of goals that shift foundations and fracture limitations. The year of pursuing the very things that terrify us most. It’s you and me crossing the line in the sand and leaving the boundaries of our comfort zone behind us.

Make no mistake. This is NOT for the faint, the easily offended or those in want of a quick exit. Lovelies, hear me well. I can’t tell you that fear will cease to echo in the inner chambers of your mind. I can’t tell you that doubt will be evicted, once and for all, from the premises of your soul. I can’t tell you that your past won’t try to sneak up and grab you when you least expect it.

But if you faint not, the harvest will be worth it.

Tiny step. Giant leap. It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re moving forward, in spite of fear. That you’re refusing to bow to it or let it dictate what you can, will or should do. And that, my friend, releases power.

I’m not talking about that She-Ra type of power. No, I’m talking about that no-holds-barred-ain’t-no-stopping-me-now-better-move-or-be-moved type of power. The sort of power that swells and crests, shakes and shimmies, dances and crawls because its mantra has never changed: I am. I can. I will.

This power continually bellows Try again. Keep going. It’s okay. You can do this. Its methodology is ever-changing—books, sermons, hugs, kindness, music, poetry, love, or hope—but forever lights the way like super moons that point north.

You are. You can. You will.

Lovelies, it’s okay to be afraid, terrified or anxious. It’s okay that butterflies take up residence in your stomach every time you think about doing that one thing. It’s okay that you feel like you’re up against something you lack the fortitude to tackle. Keep going. Keep growing. Keep expanding your horizons. And in due season, you will launch the stone that slays your giant.

As always,

{{hugs}}

 

Tears on My Pillow – A Guide to Finding Hope and Healing When Life and People Get to be Too Much

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Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Too. Much.

Can I be transparent for a moment? These last two years have felt like I  got hit by a freight train while walking barefoot on broken glass, under a tree in a massive lightning storm, wearing metal nail tips and wire frame glasses. No exaggeration.

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about mere disappointments or let downs. Nor am I talking about a series of unfortunate events. I’m talking about life-numbing-soul-crushing situations or experiences that shatter you, that leave you feeling like a fraction of the person you were only moments before.

Moments like…watching in horror as the City of Lights goes dark during a terrorist attack.

Like looking down the barrel of a loaded shot gun wondering what heaven smelled like.

Like waking up to concede that homelessness or economic devastation is not some far-flung theory fated to those we deem less than. It’s a reality, your reality, one you can no longer deny.

I’m talking about moments, devastating moments, that unhinge and break us. That confuse and pierce us so violently, and suddenly, that we stop breathing. We stop thinking. We stop feeling. We…stop.

At first, we say it’s to compose ourselves, to catch our breath. Later, we see it for what it was: wishful thinking.

Eviscerated. Burdened. Empty. All of it. All the time. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

And then there’s the people. The Johnny-come-lately people. The well-meaning, grossly inconsiderate people who rub us raw with their foul-tongued words and salt-in-wound behavior. They speak out of turn. They disappear at the height of our crisis. They downplay the breadth of our pain, the brutality of it, as if their denial makes it bite any less. They see us withering and still take what little we have.

It’s enough to make you snap or beat your chest or scream or even lash out. And by lash out, I’m mean smack the taste out of somebody. Like a good ‘ole West Indian back-hand-to-the-face kind of smack. You don’t, of course. You day dream about it. Maybe even drool a little.

But in the end, you take a different route. Less traveled? Yes, but wholly worth it. And that route starts with you.

I know. I know. You were probably hoping for something a little more…profound. An aha moment, if you will. And here I am saying, “Nope. Healing starts with us, more specifically, with you.”

You First. I Insist. 

Give yourself space to process, to feel, to breathe. You wake up and you breathe. You inhale the air of a new day. You exhale the sting of recent events. You don’t reach for your cape. You don’t reach for shame or  embarrassment. You breathe, deeply and fully, allowing you the space to release your emotions in all of its raw, agonizing glory. No hiding. No burying. Just you and space and truth.

Give yourself as much time as you need! For some, it’s few days. Others, A few weeks. In my case it was several months, 18 to be exact. I refused to do what classic Lena would do: rush back to business as usual, ignore the inferno and hope for the best. I got off that merry-go-round and didn’t look back.

Give yourself permission to not have all the answers. You don’t know. You won’t know. It’s beyond you. And that’s okay. You’ve been shattered. You are healing from wounds you could never fathom or anticipate. Healing takes time. The answers will come. Don’t force it. And when you’re ready, test the waters and slowly move forward. Pay close attention to your emotions and thoughts. Look at what rises to the surface. You can always take a step back, reassess and test the waters again.

Healing starts with me, you, us. It begins the moment we acknowledge our pain and take deliberate steps to grant our souls amnesty from judgment and condemnation—be it self-inflicted or via third party. We openly release ourselves from blame and punishment, choosing instead to do all that we must to ensure we are safe, whole and at peace. We choose us first. No apologies.

As always,

{{hugs}}